Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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