He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
