so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
