i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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