Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
