sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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