Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
