Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
