I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We were destined to go to rehab together
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
