weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
