i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
