Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
