Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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