They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
