You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
