Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
