so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
