We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
