About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
