He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
