Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
