I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
