I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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