dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
