Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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