Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
