Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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