I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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