It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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