There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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