They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
