She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
