Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
