Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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