dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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