i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
