she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
