i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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