Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
