i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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