You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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