I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
