i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
