is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
