Just mADE A PArabola og urine
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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