so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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