her vagine was all disorganized.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
