i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
