i can't believe i had my finger in that
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
