If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
