My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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